i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
