Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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