He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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