She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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