I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
