That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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