Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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