I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
