it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I fill condoms, not promises.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
