I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
They are going to name an STD after you.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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