Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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