this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When did angry sex become our thing?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize