there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
