i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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