onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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