i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
