It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
