He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
