oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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