i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
