My hand turned me down
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
