the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Please, let me fuck your mom
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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