Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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