dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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