Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize