she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
