I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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