Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
