i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
