You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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