btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
