you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
