It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
