We're like a lot better than the average bears
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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