i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
well you can't waste a boner
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
