Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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