If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
