I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
