Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
