What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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