That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
