I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Shame - the story of my life.
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