i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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