I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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