I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
