I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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