i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
