I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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