i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
