why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
