I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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