I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
organizing the empties. That sober.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
