my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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