and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
