I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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