dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
