That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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