please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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