There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
