that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
