i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize