we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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