you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
