He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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