Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
