Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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