Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i out mim tonsoeep
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
