Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I love you. Go after that dick
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
