I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
