I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
