You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
