Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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