About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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