Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
