Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
